Kim Jong-Un congratulates Rick Perry for 500th execution in Texas

If everything goes according to plan, Texas will have it’s 500th execution since 1982, when Texas resumed executing people. Kimberly McCarthy will also the first female being executed in the United States since 2010.

Kim Jong-Un, the North Korean leader, sent a congratulatory note to the Governor of Texas, Rick Perry. We have received a copy of this message, which you can read here below. Although repeatedly requested, the office of the Governor of Texas has not yet commented, and we don’t know if the Governor has responded back to Kim Jong-Un.

Following is the complete, un-edited message.


Rick Perry, Governor of the State of Texas
Austin, TX
United States of America

Kim Jong-Un, Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea
Democratic People’s Republic of Korea

In the name of the people of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, I’d like to congratulate you and the people of Texas to the upcoming 500th execution in Texas since 1982.

As you know, the death penalty is under frequent attacks from so-called activist groups, and at times it has been difficult to fend them off. Even your state has experienced a dark age before executions resumed in 1982. However, Texas has assumed a leading role within the United States of America ever since.

The fact that you and your state lead in executions within the United States should make you proud. We all look up to you, and we admire how you stand your ground despite the vicious attacks from death penalty opponents.

I would love to, but unfortunately time constraints don’t allow me to personally attend your festivities.
It must be a great time in Texas. I personally like firing squads, but also the buzzing sound of an electric chair.

Do you still do public hangings? Like in the old movies? I can imagine that it must be a great attraction at least for your festivities.

We do public executions here once in a while. It’s really great for tourism.

Not to spoil your good mood, but may I ask you just one question, and that is, simply put: what took you so long?

It has been 31 years since the restart in Texas, and even 37 years since your U.S. supreme court allowed executions again.

I think you can do much better than that. If I may, I would suggest to expand the list of offenses to include insult to the governor or to the friends and groups that support you. This is very effective and cuts down the opposition in size. Add the death penalty opposition and you are set. You will be happy with the results.

Anyway, we wish you luck with the next 500 executions and look forward for the 1000th executions celebration, which we hope we don’t have to wait for another 31 years.

Sincerly yours,
Kim Jong-Un,
Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea

(I will call you later this or next week)

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