Now that the Republican Convention is almost upon us, attempts to prevent the nomination of Donald Trump a the Republican nominee for the President of the Unites States are now more urgent than ever.
At this time leading Republican politicians (the “establishment”) have come up with a Top-10 list of proposals how to stop Donald Trump at the very last minute. This list has been leaked to us, so we are fortunate to be able to publish this list below:
10. Endorse Hillary Clinton.
09. Dissolve the Republican Party.
08. Postpone the GOP convention until late November.
07. Agree with Donald Trump that the Primaries were rigged, and therefore voiding all Primary Election results.
06. Entrap Donald Trump into a business deal (e.g Golf course in Syria/Iraq) requiring him to become a Muslim.
05. Spread rumors that Donald Trump is implicated in the Panama Papers.
04. Make public aware of endorsements of Donald Trump from North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un, Russian President Vladimir Putin.
03. Emphasize Donald Trump’s long admiration for the Democratic Party’s policies and politicians.
02. Spread rumors that Donald Trump is endorsed by ISIS.
01. Allow – in fact encourage – participants of the Convention to carry guns, and hope that the problem can be solved “that way”.