Donald Trump is now selling Bibles. We were curious, so we got a hold on an advanced copy. Surprise, surprise – there have been some changes to the original text. For instance, the Ten Commandments have a slightly different look. We got an excerpt right below:
- Thou shalt have no other leaders before me. Loyalty and support are paramount and must be directed solely at the leader.
- Thou shalt not make unto thee any fake news. Truth is what the leader confirms; all else is deception or exaggeration.
- Thou shalt not take the name of thy leader in vain. Criticism and disrespect towards the leader are not tolerated, for the leader’s word is law.
- Remember the Twitter day, to keep it holy. The sanctity of social media as a platform for direct communication shall be maintained, ensuring messages are unfiltered by traditional gatekeepers.
- Honor thy business and thy family. Both are crucial pillars of the realm, with loyalty to the family and the empire’s expansion being equally sacred.
- Thou shalt not lose. Victory is the ultimate virtue, in business, politics, and every field of endeavor.
- Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless thou canst negotiate a nondisclosure agreement. Personal indulgences are overlooked if they can be discreetly managed.
- Thou shalt not steal, but acquiring services or goods without immediate remuneration is merely astute business. The art of the deal involves leveraging positions to maximum advantage, sometimes delaying compensation as long as legally—or creatively—possible.
- Thou shalt build great walls. Security and sovereignty are manifested in physical barriers, symbolizing strength and deterrence.
- Thou shalt make great deals. In all things, the deal reigns supreme; every interaction is an opportunity for gain, to be seized and negotiated until victory is assured.