Thanks to our excellent connection to the National Security Agency (NSA) we were provided with a transcript of a conversation, that has potential wide implications in view of events happening just the last couple of days.
On a hot September evening last year, this phone conversation between New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and the head of the Port Authority of New Jersey took place. Here is the transcript (NJ Gov Cristie in Bold, Port Authority in plain):
Hey, I just saw on TV that there is a huge traffic jam on the George Washington Bridge. Are you aware of it?
Yes. Of course we are.
What’s going on? They’re saying this is not because of an accident.
No. It is not.
So what’s happening? They’re saying it has never been that bad.
We had some lanes closed.
Lanes closed? Why?
We’re conducting a traffic study.
A traffic study? What are you studying?
Traffic.
Can you be more specific, please?
Ah lets see… oh yes. we’re studying how severe the impact would be if the city of Fort Lee would loose access to the GWB.
And you need a traffic study for this.
Yes, Sir. This will determine any future projects we might have to do to address future potential traffic patterns especially in emergencies.
Ah, I see. It seems though from what I can see in the news report you should have enough information to move forward with your planning.
You’re probably right.
So, can you then please let the people out of the traffic jam and reopen the lanes to get it going again?
We will be done with this in just another couple of hours.
WHAT? Another couple of hours? What the heck do you need to study more that you don’t know yet?
We want to see how the traffic jam would resolve by itself if we do nothing.
So you set up a big experiment using the citizens of New Jersey as lab rats? Don’t you have computer simulations?
Computer simulations are expensive and not always accurate.
Bullshit.
Sir..
I’m ordering you to stop this study immediately.
Sir you can’t do this.
I’m the Governor of New Jersey.
The Port Authority is not subject to directives from the Governor.
I appointed you to this position!
Don’t bully us, Sir.
I’m not bullying. I’m just telling.
May I just say, there is an interesting side effect of all of this.
What is that?
Well, do you remember the mayor of Fort Lee.
Ah – not really. What is his name?
Mark Sokolich.
Hm – doesn’t ring a bell. What about him?
He is a Democrat.
So? I work with a lot of Democrats.
But he didn’t endorse you for the election of Governor of New Jersey.
He didn’t have to. I was elected by a landslide.
Yes, but you were endorsed by many Democrats, remember?
I do.
But not by Mr. Sokolich.
So?
And now he feels the effect of not having endorsed you if you know what I mean.
Don’t tell me you did all this to punish him?
I don’t. But you know, coincidences happen.
Wow. Well, in that case you may keep the lanes closed a little bit longer.
Yes Sir.
But this didn’t come from me. I have no official knowledge or involvement in this.
Understood.
I mean, I cannot direct you to do something anyway.
Duly noted.
I don’t do micro management.
Delegation is king.
Oh man, I can’t believe this. You guys are amazing.
Thank you.
Just don’t overdo it. OK?
Yes Sir.
I love you guys.